Inadequacy

As I get older, the more I feel I should be doing. For her because nothing is ever enough, for me because I feel like I had more potential and that should never be in the past tense, yet as of late, it is used more in the context of "I once had" than a "I can". There's so much I want for this little girl, and yet - ... I feel so limited. This is what I have been doing:



And of course, so much and never enough of this:






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I love you

Let's call her JoJo. Actually, I do call her that. Anyway, her question to me was, "you're just in love with her, aren't you" to which I said nothing and smiled and then we both sat a while laughing and comparing stories. Yes, it's true. Every mother loves their baby unconditionally and it shows when you speak of them. I absolutely love mine. Is that something that is announced? No. It just is and they just know as her name flows out of my mouth in answer to whatever question I am asked about her. It's also true that she makes me insanely bonkers some days and frustrated too, but it doesn't change that it is truly something that cannot be explained or described in words of any language. It just is what it is, in the best sense of its meaning, ya know?




















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