Bad?

Am I the only Mommy failure that was not aware that carseats and basically any baby gear has expiration dates? Stickers on some of the baby gear actually read "Do Not Use After xx/xx/xxxx". Huh.

Cheater

This was taken forever ago so I suppose you can call it cheating, but she doesn't look much different today than a month ago so I think it counts as a new post photo.

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Baby Donations

Baby items, that is. No, please do not drop off any of your babies for donation. All items must be in good and current (enough) condition. It's not much, but you MAY get 25% in cash of the cost of the item if you're too cheap to donate for free. Clothes, gadgets, toys, blankets, baby gear - carriers, strollers and the like. They can be dropped off here or if you're not too far out of the way, picked up by yours truly - so do email me. It's for a good cause. For those of you who do not have kids, ignore me. For those of you who do have kids, but just don't feel like it, get off your lazy a$$es and do something good this winter. Thanks bunches! No photos. I haven't gotten off my own lazy arse to do any of the photo taking and loading. I'm working on it!

One Step Back

We made progress. We did. She was off the bottle for a good part of the day. I would give her one or two of the 4 bottles and replaced the others with a straw sippy. She was fine. All of a sudden, the whole milk thing happened and a) she no likey whole milk so much and b) she no likey her sippy anymore either. I caved because she wouldn't eat and gave her a bottle. Drats! Once she was completely off the bottle, I intended to wean her of the binky. Looks like we took a step back. Ah well. The thing is, it secretly makes me happy and not so happy at the same time. It's work trying to get your kid ready for the next steps of her milestone stage. Taking away of the bottles and binky really ends the "baby" stage, and I'm not ready for that toddle being stage yet, except that she's already there. She's gotten so big in what seems like such a short amount of time, and I don't really know where exactly it all went, and a part of me misses it. I love the right now of where Squirmy is. She's active, she communicates, the girly girl side of her is so, sooo endearing and she's at a very fun stage, albeit rather exhausting. But every so often, -- okay, everyday really, I look down at her sleeping form and wonder where the time went from being baby to such a big little girl.

Got Milk?

We are officially on whole milk. Squirmy is a tad lactose intolerant so I wanted to start her off with Soy Milk and gradually mix in the whole milk. Upon reading some reviews, I got hit with, "Soy milk is not actually milk. Soy [beans] do not have nipples - it's a marketing ploy". But then, coconuts don't have nipples either, and I haven't heard anyone debate coconut milk being called coconut milk as opposed to what, coconut juice? coconut water? coconut spit? Fascinating... Also, I'm watching Squirmy babble speak in her sleep. Awesome. Totally useless post today.

Perfection

Of the thousands of baby items used (not including apparel), sampled, bought, returned within the one year that Little has been alive, there have only been 3 4 things I have purchased for her that I did not regret buying. The snap n go, the ventaire bottles and her carseat (add to that the joovy room2. It's the thing that holds Squirmy so that I can shower most mornings). Everything else, I've used or kept because there was nothing else to replace it with that was better. The folks that make the majority of baby things must not be moms. Strollers and diaper bag designs are my biggest complaints.

Let's start with the diaper bags. My jujube weighs in at 4-pounds. EMPTY. Add a few diapers, a change of clothes, her toys, food, snack and bottles, some spoons, bibs, and burp cloths, a small blanket and my wallet, there's 7-pounds for ya. This is what I have to carry around with me while toting a 20 pound kid and an 18 pound stroller. What the hell are you people thinking when you're making this stuff??? Pockets are great! Thermal bottle holders are fantastic! All pretty damn useless if you can't use the bag, though. That's a complaint of only one of the thousands of diaper bags that exist, that I have bought returned, bought returned, bought returned.

Now, on to the stroller rant. Moms carry a ton of crap. Make the basket fit all the things the mommies need to carry. Oh, wait, they exist don't they? But the strollers that come with decent storage weighs more than my kid! So I get a lightweight stroller that fits nothing and have to buy a crap ton of accessories to hang off the stroller to make everything fit because while there is a basket, it doesn't fit half the stuff I need and what I can shove into what they call a basket, it is impossible to get out because what I need is almost always stuck at the bottom of all the other stuff (although, to be fair to the non-mommy stroller/diaper bag manufacturers out there, this was less of a complaint during the past warmer months as I didn't have as much luggage. That, and my baby weighed half of what she weighs today and wore less clothes). Maybe Yes, I'm neurotic, but I don't think my personal issues are the problem here. The mechanics of this stuff is just all wrong. Dammit.

K, Vent over.

Happy New Year

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Mommy's Year

To my little big girl,

You are growing so quickly into your own person. You're the perfect balance of sweet and cuddly, but rambunctious with just enough attitude. I laugh often because you really are such a girly girl. Thank you for being you, for making life so much sweeter, and for making life just difficult enough to keep it interesting. Thank you for all the lessons you continue to teach me. You are such a happy baby and it makes me feel as if I am doing something right which makes my heart smile. I watch you sleeping many nights and marvel over how much you've grown. Yet, you are still small enough to fit snuggly in the crook of my arm when you're tired and in need of a cuddle. You're an absolute delight when you run over for a hug in the middle of throwing your toys across the room just to make sure mommy is there watching you demolish furniture. I love, and am amazed, at how quickly you pick up on and learn things by pointing or signing and I am more aware of how careful I need to be around you because you are becoming quite the monkey. I would appreciate it if you didn't slap me across the face to wake me, but if you must every morning elbow me in my eyeball or drop your entire 20-pound self onto mommy's face for some attention, I will still love you because I understand how much fun it must be for a miniature human to watch mommy's face contort as she yelps in pain. I also thank you for being over your cold, because you seem to be yourself again - the happy baby that eats and plays and doesn't throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. For a while there you had me terrified because I thought you hit the terrible twos at one. Tomorrow, we will try taking pictures again, and it would be lovely if you would cooperate. It is, afterall, your 12th month. It's our last sticker. I promise I won't put anymore of those silly picky stickies on you again. I love you more than you will ever know. Happy Birthday, my little Squirmy.

Love, Mommy.
* * * * * * * * *
One year ago, my life changed. In one year - I've learned the greatest of lessons, have had thousands of unforgettable experiences, cried some, but laughed more. One year ago, I cried more in one night than I had in a very long time holding fast to my few hour old daughter as if she were my life line. It turns out, she is my life line. One year ago, I cried happy tears for the very first time in my life. Through countless mistakes, experiments and determination, through lapse in judgment to finding solutions, through squibbles and squabbles, we have grown as a family; as a team. It is hard for me to remember life pre-baby. It's hard for me to see myself anywhere else now that I am here. One year ago, she was no heavier than a small watermelon and no larger than a teddy bear. She cried some, slept a lot, ate a lot, and slept some more. A year later, today, she cries some, still sleeps quite a bit, eats a boatload, but laughs more, loves more, dances, plays, signs, incessantly rambles incoherent consonants, gives the world's greatest hugs and the sloppiest, most delicious kisses. One year ago, I became a mommy for the first time and today, a year later, I can't think of anything else I've ever done that I've been so proud of. It was a no-go for photos today. I just ended up with a bunch blurry photos depicting the back of her head in motion. Here's a before and after in the mean time:

From this ---

--- To this. How is it possible that it's already been a year!? -.-

Pay It Forward

It's 3AM. I sit on the kitchen table, on my iPad, with a shawl over my shoulders bawling my eyes out because every so often you just read some pretty amazing things - beyond inspiring. And I am SO DEFINITELY NOT a cryer. I would send you the link, but I can't because I closed out of it and now I can't find it. I will find it so you know what I am rambling about in this weird hour of night, in the dark, alone. I sound like a crazy person, yes?

Where Did You Come From?

Squirmy is not eating, not sleeping, cranky as all hell and wow, bossy. Terrible twos? Did she hit that mark early? She caught a nasty cold last week and it is still lingering, but since that cold she has been a completely different baby. This is not a "my baby is perfect" ramble, but prior to this, she truly has been a very content and easy going kiddy overall. She has always been a great eater. Sometimes I thought too great an eater because I would constantly find foreign inedible objects in her diapers. The last week or so I happen to think the thoughts "you do that one more time, I'm going to beat down your diapered butt" through my head much too often. I don't. I just think it. Which makes me sad because - because - because - I'm not supposed to be going through the woes of the terrible twos until she's TWO! Lies. LIES! She now fights me on eating, throws her bottle straight across the room, throws herself on the floor if I try to take away anything she wants to play with and fake bawls until she's actually crying for real. In addition to which, baby that slept so much that I would find myself checking on her repeatedly fights sleep with every ounce of energy remaining in her and now also demands to be rocked to sleep. Even that took over an hour and a half tonight. The pictures? My attempt to make eating avocados a fun activity for her. It left behind one royally disgusting mess on the floor, on both of our clothes and her face, but at least she ate most of it and ate it happily with no screaming or crying or throwing involved. Has my luck run out? Where did this new baby come from???

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