Piglet

The girl does love to eat...





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Pool Not Party

I, the mommy, thought it was a great idea to take the Munch to the pool. It was hot, sunny and just an all around perfect pool weather. And the Bean loves water. From bathing to showering to anything water related, she loves. She loved swimming classes so why wouldn't she love the pool??? We get there and child wants to have nothing to do with the water. Maybe because it's cold and she, being the princess, is used to the indoor heated pools. Who knows... So we went to the pool - to sit in the shade, under an umbrella, which we could've done at a park. For free.


The Bean in protest.


Much happier at the food court





Happier still to just be sitting around in her bathing suit. Not swimming. Oh and she peed on me to make sure she got her point all the way across. Damn swimmer diapers. She didn't even really need to be wearing one considering... - Posted using BlogPress

Balance

Some days I feel like I can do it all. Other days, I feel like I'm too selfish for this mommy business. Is there really such thing as balance?


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What Problems?

Someone once said "Everything in life will work out whether you want it to or not, in one way or another, and it works out because you will deal with it when it comes as it comes". It's true. You run into a problem and there's only so much you can do before you have to deal with it in whatever way you think is best. Sometimes all you need is a quick break to catch your breath and other times you hit it head on. Whichever way you choose to go, in the end, it does work out in whatever way it is meant to and that's really all you can ask for, no? Plans are made to change. Minds are made to change. Life is constant change. Gracious, I love this creature!


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Brain, Where Are You?

So I lost two credit cards. In two days. Consecutive two days. Yesterday I had lunch, paid, signed, went to the park came home missing one credit card. Today I went to the park, got a tank full of gas from a station something like 4 blocks away from home and lost that one. Seriously??! I need help finding what's left of my brain because I am in danger of growing stupid. But then, there is this so if growing stupid is what it takes, well, I can live with being a happy stupid person. I guess.





Oh wait, did I mention I allowed my baby to run amok at the park today and she fell on the concrete pavement... ON HER FACE? Yeah, I think my heart broke into a million pieces. End result?


I know that kids get hurt. They run, they play, they fall and in moments the hurt is forgotten about, and while I know there was nothing I could possibly have done in the moment as I stood steps behind watching her fall in near slow motion, I hated myself for being unable to stop it from happening. It's hard watching your child hurt. Whether it's a scrape or cut or just something as small as bumping into a wall from the lack of balance at this age and I wonder how my heart will survive the bigger ouchies in life she will have to endure from the not so serious to the serious. I need to build a bubble. A really, really big one. - Posted using BlogPress

One Day

When all seems wrong in the world, this face alone fixes just about everything.


Even when everything is right in the world, that face kills me. One day I will ask her to make her "piggy face" and she will roll her eyes at me. One day I will ask her for a kiss and she will tell me to stop embarrassing her. One day she won't need my help to put on her socks and shoes and she won't need my help to get dressed. One day I will look at my little baby and realize she isn't a baby anymore. I will look back one day and wonder where all the time went. Until then, however, I will have that face etched into my heart and mind and to me at least, she will always be my baby. I think I now know how my mother feels every time she gets that look in her eyes as she watches me watching my daughter. - Posted using BlogPress

Little Tornado

I know one day she will stop making faces for me. So I make her do it a gazillion times a day for me while she is still willing.

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Funk

I've been in one. I love being a mom. Every moment of it. Even the hard ones, but lately, I wonder what will come of me as me. It's so easy get lost in the shuffle and you don't quite belong anywhere and you obviously do - both at the same time. I don't mind putting life aside to be a mom. I really don't, but it can be a lonely place to be. I know my posts haven't been very uppity. Really I've just been trying to figure things out. Guilt and fickle-ness over part time daycare, working from home, goals of sorts, socially, personally, home life, balancing and scheduling and mostly trying to be a better mommy. Maybe letting go just a little (twice or thrice a week for 4 hours surely won't kill either of us, will it?) will be a healthy thing. I've been needing to get out of the house more often as of late to simply "be" and because it needs to be after Husband gets home and after she's asleep, they become rather late nights even if I'm only out for a few hours. Even if it isn't ideal, I still get the little bit of time-out that I find myself needing more and more and for the time being, it works. He takes the day to breathe and I take the nights even if it's only for a long drive or to a late midnighty movie and a diner meal of eggs and corned beef hash afterwards. Balance. All about balance. I have none and it's usually, truly, okay but sometimes, some days, it's not as okay as I would like it to be. Then morning comes, she's as cute as can be and all is right again in the world. It's a perpetual cycle. - Posted using BlogPress

One Lonely Career

While there is nothing I love more than this girl


Being a mother to her is by far the most difficult, trying and loneliest career I have ever held. It has also been the most rewarding and I am well aware that it doesn't get easier with time. If anything, I am probably looking at more difficult times ahead and while I still wouldn't trade any part of this - sometimes I would really like a tall glass of wine first thing in the morning to replace that cold cup of coffee I didn't get to drink and just bang my head on the wall. Repeatedly. The terrible twos. Here they come. Giddy up! - Posted using BlogPress

Complicated

I don't have much to post about lately. Not because nothing is going on but more because now I am torn. Originally my plan was to blog about my day to day with the Jellybean and to share her with everyone. Lately, I'm wondering if perhaps I should just open a Facebook account and privately share just photos with the people I initially meant to be share my days with. It's not exactly as though I have such profound thoughts to share, and while I love "writing", I feel like it's come to a point where she's more "identifiable" and I am paranoid to some extent and something else that I can't quite figure out. I don't know. It's complicated, but I'll leave you these for now.





Such. A. Girl. Now I owe Auntie Louise new lipstick.