Writer's Block?

That's what I called it when one of my best buds asked why I haven't been updating as often? Anyone who knows me knows that I love to write. I'm not particularly good at it. It's just something I've always enjoyed. Anyway, to his question I responded that I had writer's block. He advised me to go back to the beginning to read some of my earlier posts. As I did, I realized the point he was making. It's not writer's block because most of the things written were of the feelings I had in the moment, my experiences as a first time mom, the trials, the hardships, but also the near perfect moments of being a mommy so I promised I'd try to start it up again. Truth is, it's been a rough year and a half. Writer's block may have been part of it, but it was also that there were and are a lot of things I wasn't quite ready to share with not just what went up publicly, but with anyone at all - including my closest friends. And in my attempt to "hide" parts of my life - I stopped writing about my days entirely. Well, I'm back. This was started as a way to reflect back as a new mommy and I'm still learning which means I should still have a life to write about. I'll start. Uhm. Tomorrow.




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Happy Monday!

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Thinking About It

I guess she considered waking up and getting off the bed and fell asleep before she could decide.






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One Day

She will call me mom instead of mommy. She will go off to school and be embarrassed by my "I love you"-s. She won't kiss me back and hugs will be seldom. She will fight for her independence and she won't need me to kiss her ouchies to make them better. I think about the probabilities and I want her to fly and soar as high as her wings will allow and discover everything wonderful and all the things that aren't that leaves her appreciating the wonderful things surrounding her when she sees and feels them. Even if they break my heart because I won't be able to fix all things imperfect for her.











For now, however, all I see are the grand possibilities for her and while watching her grow into this whole other person tugs at my heart strings more often than not because I wish I had the ability to stall time for my own selfish reasons, I'm excited to hear her speak, put words together that she didn't know even a month ago, work on puzzles, cop up an attitude, get stubborn for the things she absolutely must have and I take comfort in the fact that at age 2, at 12, at 20 - in some way, no matter what her age, she will always remain my baby - if not A baby.

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