Mommy Ouch

Just because it's Monday and everyone needs something to laugh about - even if at my expense:

We went to the playground and running around with the Bean, I knocked myself in the head with the beams that go across the tops of the slide. I forget they're meant for little people. Not big ones.

I dropped the Bean off this morning and rushed, I was speed walking in my heels to the train station. Next thing I know I'm on the ground. I slipped on a garbage bag. Thank you New York City Department of Sanitation.

Have a nice day. And of course, pics from the things we did over the weekend.











- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Another Useless Post But....

I love photo apps. They're super cool.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dammit!

I bought a coloring book thing for the Bean. The ones with the mess free markers where it only draws on the specific paper it comes with. What I DIDN'T but SHOULD HAVE noticed was this:





I. Hate. Glitter. Hateit. It's everywhere now. All over me, her, my coffee table, floors, our clothes, hands and everything it has come near. Talk about kicking yourself right?











But look how happy she is here you say?




Okay. Fine. But I still hate Glitter. We're never getting rid of the sparkles around here now...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Always

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living - my baby you'll be". It's one of my favorite rhymes from a baby book.

Some mornings are rushed, which brings on the frustrations of trying to get your 2 year old to get on her shoes, put on the jacket she doesn't want to wear and that 2 year old is now wanting the juice she told you she didn't want - as you're driving away from the house and she'll make you feel like a horrible mommy because you're denying her the little juice box. "Would it have been so much trouble to go back for it; we're running late anyway; what's another minute" says self and the guilt of dropping off your now pouty one as you kiss her for the day promising you'll be back for her later (with juice) is magnified. Today? This morning was not one of those mornings. This morning she got her cup of milk and that little juice box came with us and she happily slurped it down on the stretch from home to daycare. She kissed me at the entryway of her daycare and said "shee oo yater mummy". We even had enough time to snap some photos before starting for the door. I don't think it's possible to love anything or anyone as much as a mini person created from within yourself.








- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sweetness

To put the munch to sleep - I lay with her in her bed until she dozes. I know that a lot of parents aren't for that and it's a toss up of baby-ing my girl and not letting her learn to sleep on her own vs the teaching to sleep on her own. Guess what? She still has a night-time pacifier. Go ahead - judge away. The reality is that if she were to be my last one - I can say I milked her baby-hood to every last delicious drop. That isn't to say I don't play disciplinarian. I play the part well. Enough to raise my parents' eyebrows that translates to "Val - she's only two; take it easy". But to say I do spoil her in other ways - it's the truth. And you know what? I've heard over and over - you'll spoil her too much and she'll never be independent. It's a crock of well - crap, because my girl is an explorer. She is extremely bullheaded and strong and opinionated. All good and bad depending on what side of that you're on. Once she's asleep, she's fine all night and she's been a phenomenal sleeper even at a very early stage so it just never was my case of having night time clinging issues. Or at least not many of them. I also strongly believe that kids are born from birth with their own natural make up of who they are individually and it's up to us, the parents, to strengthen and nurture what they are. This isn't a debate. It's what works for me. If what works for you is to let your little guy or girl cry it out to teach them their independence - and it works for you - that's the right way because it works. It doesn't for me. It's not wrong. My way is just different. It works for me because I lay with her at nights and she turns to me and says in the sweetest way that only a baby is capable of, "mommy good night" and kisses me a half a dozen times before she slowly drifts off to dream about her angels and friends from daycare (she calls out their names and laughs in her sleep sometimes - which is a whole other post). And if that's called spoiling - then that's what it is because this isn't something I can or am willing to trade.




This is what I caught her doing the other day - she's kissing herself in the mirror. Hahaha. Oh baby... How vain you are.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

"Herro??"

After failing to get anyone to answer their phones at 9 fricking AM on a Sunday - she resorted to this




And not long ago a friend of mine posted this




I just found it appropriate because it's true. We sat there talking to a big plastic phone for a good half hour even though all it says back to you is "it's learning time" in this creepy part kid-part machine sing-songy voice that is rather unsettling in a lot of these kids' toys I realize.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

L-A-Z-Y

I love love love my daughter. Today - I spent the first half of it spring cleaning. The other half? The Bean is out with her dad. I am horizontal on my couch, a coffee cup in hand with the TV on and doing N.O.T.H.I.N.G else. It's a gorgeous day outside. It truly is and it probably is a total waste of a beautiful day since we're expecting rain for the next several days but I can't bring myself to peel myself off the couch. It's so so so rare to have this when you're a mom and it's absolutely glorious so while it goes back to my first sentence of loving my baby to pieces, sometimes you just really need a mental health day for yourself.
Morning:




Afternoon:




I have a million things to pick up soon, but for now - ah, for now.... Perhaps I am finally getting the hang of this balance business? One actual full night of sleep during the week and a late afternoon to myself of the weekend. Could it be true?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Break

I have not crawled into bed at 10pm without some "oh wait - I forgot to do xyz" in a long time where before I know it, it's hours past my bed time goal. It has been a really long time. There are some nights that I'll fall asleep with the Bean as I am putting her to sleep, but I hardly ever remain asleep through the night with her, in her room and those naps usually screw me for the next day. But tonight? The clock reads 10:20PM, my lights are out, and there certainly are things I have not yet gotten around to finishing up tonight and you know what? I don't care. I haven't said that and meant it in a long time either. The anal retentive in me doesn't usually allow for this kind of behavior - the dishes from dinner undone or the hairs I saw on the bathroom floor, but you know what, they'll be there in the morning and this feels so glorious - I actually don't care. Well, maybe a little, but I'm going to sleep anyway in my do nothingness state of mind! So. Totally. Awesome.

Growing Pains

It's sad to watch your little one go through any discomfort. It's worse when there isn't much you can do when she's crying out "ouch mommy ouch" with tears flowing down her face. The Bean gets these cramps in her legs that wakes her all night on a bad night. Last night was one of them. It also means she spends the rest of the following day exhausted. On the way to work, mommy feels more than a pang of guilt. I've mentioned this plenty in my old posts and it goes back to working mommy vs stay home mommy. I've done both. They're equally difficult in different ways. You always wish for that perfect balance between the two worlds, but as with all else in life, it isn't always a possibility. I love going to work and having a routine and a life outside of mommy-land. That's not to say I don't complain about having to go to work - but it centers me as an individual and I love the shift of that as hard is it is. I also loved being home with my baby, having her as center of my world and revolving around just her. I want both and that doesn't exist because I, like everyone else, am granted only 7 days out of the week. Today is one of those days that made it rather heartbreaking to watch her little self walking into her classroom because I knew how tired she was going to be from not having slept well. I also know she'll be just fine when I go to pick her up at the end of the day and that by the time I get to my desk, I'll get over it as well but on the train getting there - it doesn't feel good at all. On a bright note, these are now one of my favorite photos of my little miss. Whoever granted me my perfect little girl, I thank you because she's darn cute! Shut up. I'm allowed to be bias and think my kid is perfect.












- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fork

She can say spoon and she can say fork. Not well, but she can. What cracks me up is that fork comes out more like "f*ck". So we're eating at a local restaurant, I'm about to grab a fork and knife to get at my chicken cutlet when the Bean says in her not so quiet voice, "mummy F*CK! Gimme prease!". Gotta love this job........ She won't let me take pictures of her because it's her job to not do anything I ask of her so there's the best I can do.










- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Perfect Days

They are what you make them out to be, yes? She gets cranky, I get frustrated, she laughs, I laugh, she cries, my eyes roll, she plays and I kiss her endlessly. That is our days most days. Today was a day full of errands and shopping. Nothing out of an ordinary day on a weekend, but as long as some days feel and I won't deny it - I count down to her nap and bedtimes rather often - I pause just as often throughout our day to stare at her to simply watch and feel my heart inflate. It reminds me just how lucky I am. I get to complain about how tired I am fussing and chasing after her, how aggravating her tantrums are, how annoyed I get because she just will not stop talking all.damn.day and sometimes it prevents me from thinking straight. I'm lucky that she's such a happy (mostly), healthy, well-rounded kid. She has opinions and thoughts of her own where her individuality gleams through - which makes me extremely proud and also super duper freaking irritated. I'm lucky because I have all of it to say "this is all worth it".







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sh!tstorm

I'll start this off by telling you how in love with my Bean I am. My heart bursts at the thought of her. However, poop - even hers - is gross. It is. So for the second time she denies having to potty. "do you have to potty?". "no, mummy". "you have to tell me if you have to potty". "ok mummy". Then what does she do? Squats and poops her panties. I love her and all I could do was laugh because now I'm running late, she's pooped herself and I stand there not knowing for sure what to do next. So there's my morning in a nutshell. Happy Friday, folks!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Itch

So for weeks now I've been itching everywhere. I have gone through tubes of lotion suggested by everyone from friends, co-workers, dermatologist. I had about a half hour to kill before my train heading back home from work yesterday - so I walked into Kmart and picked up a jar of Gold Bond and holy cow - it's the first in weeks that I am not at my desk scratching away as if I hadn't showered in days. I'm told too many showers have the same effect although two showers hardly seem like too many. Totally pointless post, but this is exciting news to me. Noone really actually looks at this to read it right? So here's the most important part of my not so daily blogging.

My kid is such a girly girl. Her expressions, reactions, coyness and attitude is all girl it's hilarious.
























- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What If...

...I'm doing this all wrong - is a question I ask myself frequently. I've probably mentioned this before, I wish when I was walking out of that hospital with a newborn baby to take home, that they'd have tucked me in a manual along with the samples of diapers and formula they sent me home with. Happy Mommy; Happy Baby, right? At least sounds about right? That for the most part is a theory I firmly believe in, but comes with it a rather delicate balance and a trunkful of guilt. Tons, really. Some days are hard because babies are naturally narcissists - that want and need whatever it is right then and there. I think it's healthy to nurture some parts of that narcissism. Sometimes you cave just because you don't think you can survive another second of the whine-turning-tantrum first thing in the morning and it is a "here you go, please be quiet. Mommy needs coffee - right.this.very.second.or.mommy.is.going.to.lose.it". Other times you battle with them to teach them boundaries, out of principle or because they're attempting to dive off the couch because they think they can fly and you just don't see it ending well. The balance of it is difficult. Sometimes what you want interferes with what you feel they need. Sometimes what they want means you set aside what you want for the moment. Sometimes what they want you just can't bring yourself to do because you're exhausted and then the guilt settles in nice and thick so you lose anyway. Other times - you don't want anything at all because you see that perfect to you creation and wonder what more you could possibly want in this world except that reality doesn't quite work that way, ya know? Am I making any sense here? I told you... Writer's block. End conclusion? I need that fricking manual. With that said - here are some of my "I need nothing else in this world" moment pictures. Of course, right following that was a full blown tantrum that made me forget that it's all I want in life. It's hard to remember that and smile when your kid is shrieking at the top of her lungs and "nooooooo"-ing you all the way to the car that seems so damn far away than where you thought you parked it.
















I love this view



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone