Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Growing Pains

It's sad to watch your little one go through any discomfort. It's worse when there isn't much you can do when she's crying out "ouch mommy ouch" with tears flowing down her face. The Bean gets these cramps in her legs that wakes her all night on a bad night. Last night was one of them. It also means she spends the rest of the following day exhausted. On the way to work, mommy feels more than a pang of guilt. I've mentioned this plenty in my old posts and it goes back to working mommy vs stay home mommy. I've done both. They're equally difficult in different ways. You always wish for that perfect balance between the two worlds, but as with all else in life, it isn't always a possibility. I love going to work and having a routine and a life outside of mommy-land. That's not to say I don't complain about having to go to work - but it centers me as an individual and I love the shift of that as hard is it is. I also loved being home with my baby, having her as center of my world and revolving around just her. I want both and that doesn't exist because I, like everyone else, am granted only 7 days out of the week. Today is one of those days that made it rather heartbreaking to watch her little self walking into her classroom because I knew how tired she was going to be from not having slept well. I also know she'll be just fine when I go to pick her up at the end of the day and that by the time I get to my desk, I'll get over it as well but on the train getting there - it doesn't feel good at all. On a bright note, these are now one of my favorite photos of my little miss. Whoever granted me my perfect little girl, I thank you because she's darn cute! Shut up. I'm allowed to be bias and think my kid is perfect.

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