Tummy Time

Squirmy: Mummy, I think I can do it! I think... I... *grunt* can....

*squeal*...

*sigh*...

*giggle*

Baby Swing

You may beg to differ based on Squirmy's expressions, but really, she loves this thing. I can't say she loves it as much as I do, but baby that does not nap, finally, naps! I don't know why I held off on the swing for so long. Seriously. Her bouncer has been moved up to the office so now baby has a place to sit and play everywhere mommy goes. I love it!

Weeeeeeeee~!

Speaking of

aging (ahem).... I think Auntie Lisa is ready to have one of her own baby bundles!

Quite frankly, I think ALL of my friends should be working to give Squirmy more friends. What exactly are you guys waiting for!?!? Hurry it up, please, thankyouverymuch. And yes, I've got a really cheesy grin plastered on my face as I am typing this.

Aging

"Respect Your Elders". It's a big korean thing based on how much older a person is. This is where I think the more americanized side of me HUGELY disagrees because those words annoy me beyond belief. I don't believe age alone defines a person by any means. You can be 5, 15, or 50 years older, and it does not always mean you are a respectable person. It does not even mean that you're a decent person simply because you are older than another. Does wisdom/knowledge come with age? Most cases, I am sure it does, but what you do with what you have learned in your 10, 20, 30, 40+ years of life is really what counts, does it not? My parents for example. I love and respect my parents. Not because of what they are, but because of who they are and what kind of people they are. My dad, he is my stepfather. Has been so for the last 10 years or so. He is one of the most soft, but well-spoken man I know. He's also kind hearted and is not quick to speak poorly of someone. He will always give someone the benefit of the doubt, even if he is unsure they deserve it because, as he says, "wouldn't you want a second chance?". Everyone is judgmental in their own way. I am quick to voice it and believe it before giving a person the chance to prove me wrong so that is something I very much admire about him. My mother (love her as I may) and I are night and day. We speak differently, have very different ways of life, like different things, we are just different. She is someone most would call eccentric. While I rarely agree with her, I've always had the highest respect for the kind of determination and strength she has that is far uncommon. Almost as though she is a contradiction, she also believes in everyone, she trusts everyone and believes everything in a way that is almost naive (read: infuriating!) and will almost always give you her shirt (literally) off her back if you need it more than she does. Even if that means she has to walk home bare in a snowstorm, but because of it, she is that person that everyone can believe in and can always trust which I do not see much of anymore, if at all. I am blessed to have my parents (yes, they still make me uber crazy). There are also people that are older that are not such great people or those with a mindset that fall far below average (sorry, that wasn't very nice). They know they've been doing the same thing their entire lives, they know it does not work, but they will continue doing the very same thing for the rest of their lives knowing it will fail them, and hoping it will not (I suppose that really is a personal choice). Some have to feel superior, and in order to get there, they have to put you below themselves and will find any way to do so even if it means they have to intentionally hurt you to get there. Some steal, compulsively lie to get what they want, some cheat, etc. You get my drift. All these people can be younger or older. Does that mean because you may be in the "older" category, you still deserve to be respected? I think not. The point of this post is that I hope my daughter will be someone that everyone sees, younger and older, who can say, she is a good person. That she will grow to be a respectable girl, who will grow into a respectable woman despite what age group she may fall into at any given time in her life. For now, she is

busy sleeping off her tummy-time exercises. She is getting better!

Baby's Two Month Today!

There's my happy little baby!

5-Hour Wonder

For a baby shy of two months, Squirmy does not sleep (much). During the day that is. Well, it's what the husband calls "cat naps" or "power naps". She'll sleep anywhere from 10 minutes to up to an hour. An hour and a half if she's really tired and stay up for up to 4 hour stretches. They say babies between the age of 0-3 months sleep about 16-20 hours a day except to feed so when asked, I always answered that it was probably between 16-18 hours. Then a few days ago, I started to track it. She sleeps an average of 13 hours -/+ in total of broken sleep and most of that is at night. While I should be ecstatic because she sleeps well throughout the night (sorta?), it also seemed strange. Then starting two nights ago, I would give her, her "last bottle" of the night some time between 9-10 PM. I would wait for her to stir around 12-1AM because she feeds every 3-4 hours, right? Not a peep and eventually, I guess I fall asleep. I startle myself awake, and it's somewhere around 3am! She hasn't eaten in over 5 hours so I peer over into her bassinet and she is sound asleep. Can this be real? I've slept a straight 3 hours?! Just last week, I was complaining to someone - I don't remember who, but if you're reading this, thank you for letting me blow off tired steam - that we hit a rough patch because I couldn't put her down to sleep 3 straight nights. Starting the weekend, she seemed not to mind being put into her bassinet at night (she still won't take any naps in there during the day) and would sleep until she got hungry, eat, get changed and go right back to sleep. Then the last two days, she just slept right through, and I'm only giving her one bottle at night between 3AM and 4AM until morning! This is the most exciting news of my life currently. I just paid to download an e-book from the internet on how-to-get-baby-to-sleep-nights over the weekend. What a waste. They said money back guarantee. I think I'll go collect. If anyone wants a print-out of it, let me know before I ask for my $9 refund back! On the downside, my days are spent dealing with this binky business.............................

Bath and Poop

Any time I give Squirmy one of these (and no, I do not use dishwashing detergent to wash my baby. It just happened to get stuck in the view of the camera)....

(She gets these bumpy things on her face when I keep her hands out of the mitts because she scrapes the heck out of her face!)

it is almost a guarantee that she will poop within the next hour. So what do I do? I give her a bath later than the time I normally do. She poops later. She wets her diaper, I clean and change her, and again, she poops right when I'm changing her or literally, right after I've stuck on a nice clean diaper over her bum. It never fails. What is it with babies - maybe it's just Squirmy? - but why always poop when you're all nice and clean? It's funny - most of the time. Then I get this

look and all I can do is shake my head, laugh and do the cleaning, wiping, changing thing all over again. She has also recently discovered that she has fingers that she can eat and cute (I think) as it is, it makes her fingers really stinky. Her coordination is still a bit off so sometimes she misses her mouth and sticks them up her nose instead and gets mad at me. This

also is generally what she does AFTER a bath for whatever reason. I think she does it on purpose to stick it to mommy. She is not what you would call an economically friendly child....

Grrrr~

If you're looking for a happy, pick-me-up post, please leave. I'm a pretty cold person. I don't care about a lot of things most people think I should care about. I'm also not very people friendly. If I meet you and I don't like the vibe I get, chances are likely that I will probably never be friends with you. If we are already friends and we haven't spoken in over a year, chances are, I have not made an effort to do so because I have not cared enough. If I feel I was un-justly treated or spoken to, I probably will never really like you again. The only person it does not always apply to, it seems, is my husband. These are not things I am proud of and they most certainly are not things I want my daughter to learn and maybe being this way does make me a not so good of a person. Make an effort to change? Late, maybe, but I try. Since Squirmy's come along, every week we have had visitors. EVERY week and weekend. It's tough especially because I am really not a constant people person. It's not easy having a newborn and a new life to adjust to. It has been 7 weeks and all I want is to be left alone to learn to be a family - just us 3 - before including the rest of the world. Parents, friends, acquaintances alike - unless we're specifically doing the inviting because we want your company. It's tiring playing hostess and it's tiring having to pick up after having people over for hours at a time when the most sleep I've gotten in the last 7 weeks were probably a total of 4 consecutive hours and that's a big fat maybe. With the little bit of broken me-time I have when hubs is working, if I feel like a blog so I can post pictures of my little one, that's what I'll do. This alone takes hours some days between feedings, diaper changes, burping, cleaning, cooking, sterilizing bottles, vacuuming, laundry on top of what seems to be a million other things I am required to do. I do it because I want to. If I feel like sleeping for the 15 spare minutes I am left with before she wakes again, that's what I will try to do. If I'm going stir-crazy from staying home too many days, I take her out because she sleeps whenever we go out leaving me with a little more me-time that I crave. If I feel like doing nothing but stare off into nothingness attempting to burn a hole in my ceiling, that's what I intend to do. I am not obligated to answer every single phone call I receive. I am not obligated to return every single phone call either. I am not obligated to answer to anyone about what I am doing with my days. I have NO obligation to anyone except my baby and my husband. I am exhausted and frustrated and aggravated with everyone today. What keeps me going with half a smile is this face.

Remember when... Already?

I miss my 6 pounder already. It's only and already been six weeks. Seems like just yesterday and forever ago at the same time that she was this little...

She now weighs a ton for my back.... HA

How the HECK???

Had a scare at 4:00 A.M. Anyone who knows me, knows I wake up to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I hear it all while I'm sleeping. Possibly why I'm so gosh darn tired. It's worse now. I'm never actually deep asleep. Anywho, I woke up this morning to find Squirmy sideways at the foot of her bassinet whimpering with the blanket covering her entirely, drenched in her own sweat! How did she get there swaddled, velcro buckled and all? I can't wait until I put her to sleep on her back to find her on her tummy a few months from now when she learns to roll over. Scary stuff. I'm buying a halo. It will be another one of mommy's favorites. So far, the things at the top of my list are...

I should have started off with this one instead. I love love love my bottle warmer!

This thing does wonders for baby's bum, but for mommy's face too

And, my breakfast and lunch when I'm lucky enough to eat during breakfast time and/or lunch time. Whenever there is a new post, this is what I am eating while blogging/surfing (laugh if you must but I happen to love Lucky Charms)

.... because it means baby squirmy is snoozing.

Sleeping Habits

As of late, I blame everything on Squirmy's growth spurts. She eats too much, must be a growth spurt. She sleeps too much, must be a growth spurt. She's not sleeping enough, must be a growth spurt. She cries, must be growing pains. She's been a little fussy falling asleep lately (yup, must be a growth spurt). Once she's down, she'll sleep 4 hours easily. It's getting to that point that is hard. Now, Ferber Method vs. Dr. Sears' Findings. These are long reads so I'll save you some time. The Ferber Method is basically a "cry-it-out" method. It tells you how to make baby sleep longer through the nights by letting the baby, well, cry it out until s/he eventually falls asleep. However, the findings of Dr. Sears contradicts this method in that he states, "responding to baby's cries is biologically correct" and further, "teach baby to 'cry better' by being attentive to his/her needs by tending to your baby appropriately. A baby's cry is their only means of communicating and by doing so, you are building trust early on because they will start to understand that you will always be there for them and ultimately, learn to cry for only the right reasons which results in crying less since their needs are being met". He also states (which I think makes plenty of sense), "babies thrive when nurtured, not spoiled, since crying is not a form of manipulation. It is simply a baby letting you know something is wrong and asking you to make it right". So to all those people who have said I am going to spoil my baby if I pick her up too much, please know, I am the one with her 24-hours a day. If she needs a hug or a kiss to feel a little better, so be it. (Everyone including neighbors, well meaning parents, friends, the lady down the produce aisle at the supermarket will inevitably feel the urge to share with you what is best for your child. What works for one child simply does not work for another. What may work for your child may not work for mine. What may have worked 30 years ago, may not work the same way now, 30 years later. If you know a "better" way of doing things, that's wonderful and I'm happy for you. If you want to criticize me for the way I am or am not doing something, please let it be constructive criticism so that I may actually learn something from you. Better yet, SHOW me. Other than that, I do what works for me because it keeps my baby happy). I am also trying to get Squirmy used to her nursery so I've been trying to have her take naps in her big crib instead of the bassinet by our bed. So I swaddle her snugly so she doesn't wake herself up with crazy arm movements, yet somehow, she always manages to un-snuggle herself out of being swaddled. Look at the sneaky little fingers squeezing themselves out of the blanket...

She does not stay asleep very long in her crib for whatever reason so by the time I quietly tiptoe my way downstairs to turn on the baby monitor, this is what I am met with...

In the end, I do get her to sleep, but it's not in her crib (or her bassinet)

Much happier.

(Wow, talk about a long read)

Melting

Now that makes me all soft and gooey inside

Crappy. Crappy. Crappy.

She's a doll asleep and she's a doll most of the time (or was?). She's a monster baby when she's unhappy about something and I can't figure out what it is (or when she has gas). Squirmy woke up in a crappy mood, and made sure I was as miserable as she was. It lasted about 5 hours this morning while I was trying to make it on time to my 3 o'clock doctor's appointment. Needless to say, I was late. I kept her out for the better part of the late afternoon and evening. Had lunch at the mall, shopped a bit, walked around, drove around and she was perfectly happy dandy. She slept in her car seat after we got home for another hour even. Then crappy mood squirmy returns. I love, LOVE, being a mommy. I just don't love everything about it all of the time. I'm allowed to be in a crapper mood, too! Anyway, looking and loading good mood squirmy photos to make myself feel better while monster baby is with her daddy so I can take a short break. Thought I'd share. (And just for you Ed, I had Chris take photos of both tired mommy and baby).

With Auntie Liana...

With Auntie Lila...

All dressed and ready to go out to play with mommy!

... but ... (yawn!) so tired ...

Home sweet home after a long day of running errands with mommy...

There's really only so much of mommy chewing on baby's cheeks she can handle... (Sorry, honey).

With daddy, after chugalugging down her last bottle (do all babies bend backwards that way when you try to burp them??? - and seriously, look at that belly!)

And this...... is how most (quiet) nights end

(yes, I realize it's sideways and I'm not looking to fix it)

******

Tonight, however.......................

(Sigh)

She's in such a mood that she just peed on daddy. Yeap, seriously....

Mommies Are Gross

Mommies are lucky to find the time to brush their teeth when they wake up in the morning. To take a shower, if at all possible, does not leave you feeling clean or refreshed. It's stressful and I don't even feel clean afterwards most of the time. It goes something like this: run water, rinse, shampoo, soap, rinse, shut water. Yes, it sounds like a typical shower everyone else takes, but I dare you to complete this task in under 2 minutes AND manange to feel clean. Not likely. You ask, why not in the time you post this thing, don't you get cleaned up? Because taking a shower and getting cleaned up requires not being dressed. If I am at the desk and I hear her, I can get to her quickly enough. If I hear her crying while soaking in soap and water, it just makes a messy situation and by the time I do get to her, she has turned all sorts of the color purple again and impossible to console. Not fun. I'm quite excited today because not only did I get to sleep my total of broken 6 hours (YAY!), I got to brush my teeth, take a 10 minute shower (unheard of!!!), dress in a pair of (clean) jeans and sweatshirt and she is ......

Ahhhhhh~

Week 5

**Hubs bought a different lens specifically made so that clear photos can be taken in low light without the flash bothering Leah's eyes, and maybe I just don't know how to properly use/configure it, but some of the photos used with the lens came out blotchy and blurry so I had to use the other one and of course, the blotchy blurry ones are the cuter photos. Drats... Sorry, honey**

I finally got the pickysticky in the mail! While we are off by a week (exactly a week), my friend points out that it's close enough to her first month to take a picture with it on. So what if we're off by a week? This is the cutest thing for all new mommies. It has stickers from month 0 to month 12 to take a photo of your baby every month to see how much s/he has grown in a year's time (and it's just a sticker so you get to use that onesie again until baby grows out of it).

Leah, however, wasn't completely sold on the idea as you can see

A little better here

And with pants on, she seems a bit more tolerant of her trigger finger crazy mommy. Maybe she was just cold

(Sorry, baby, mommy doesn't think you're very photogenic today.) She came out looking chunkier than she actually is. Like she needs it exaggerated any... Still the cutest baby ever (so we think! - isn't yours to you??)

But squirmy's definitely got rolls happening now...