Monday, April 26, 2010

Something Day

As Mothers' Day approaches, the requests (read: demands) begin. Traditionally, the first year of a new mother's Mothers' Day is supposed to be a great big deal according to most people. Not us. I don't expect it. Not from the hubs, not even from my parents and most certainly not from my in-laws. However, it does not mean that I am okay spending it stressed, frustrated, uncomfortable and/or exhausted. I don't need to celebrate it, but at the very least, I would like to spend the day comfortable. The fact that this doesn't occur to anyone or that anyone even bothers to ask is truly besides the point. I can honestly live without holidays. Ever notice there's a "---- day" just about every month? If it were up to me, I would just keep Leah's birthday, the hub's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll even forego my birthday as a trade-off to rid of all the rest of the holidays because all they really are, are headaches. That, of course, would be the case if it were up to me. Which obviously, it is not. If nothing else, I'm fine staying home doing what I do any other day. At least I'd be comfortable. I don't feel it's much to ask for my very first Mothers' Day. Heck, I won't even ask for anything. I don't need flowers. I'm allergic to pollen anyway. I won't buy that silly bag I've been obsessing over. I don't need anything shiny. I just want to be content and enjoy being what I am now for the first time in my life. Not to mention, I am learning that Squirmy does not like crowds. She cries if it's too loud, she cries if there are too many people around and she cries if she feels as though she's being crowded in. Who suffers? Just me and her. When we get home late, who suffers for 3-5 days days getting her routine back? Mommy and baby. When she's cranky and is beyond tired to sleep, who suffers? Mommy and baby. When she cries because there's just too many people around and it's too loud for her? Mommy and baby. Anyone care? Not so much. Perhaps the hub, but in the end, the only person losing sleep over it is, that's right, myself. In the past, if I felt down or upset or just anything not-so-good, I would work it off. It does wonders. I used to work right through lunch and make it a late night at my desk. Or I would just work like crazy, eat something disgustingly heavy for lunch and then make it a late night and more often than not, you're too tired to remember why you were feeling down by the time you get home and you get over it by sleeping. Now since that isn't really an option, I get these urges to do something drastic. Whether it's to buy something ridiculously expensive just because or putting the baby down for a nap to sit in the car with the music blaring loud enough that I can't think. It's almost always the latter. You really do feel better if you can't hear yourself think. My neighbors must think I'm insane, but hey, if that's the price to feel better, so be it. On a much lighter note, look!: (yes, they're sideways. i.don'

She looks happy doesn't she? =D
Hunter came later, but Squirmy was too busy screaming and crying for quiet that we couldn't take the "Large (Brian), Medium (Leah), Small (Hunter) picture that I wanted.... Babies are just so delicious. *SLURP!*

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