Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba Gurgle Gurgle PLLLLL

She talks to the ducky. Like, has a conversation kind of babbling going on. It's the funniest thing

She even reaches out to pet him while she blows spit on his face

And of course, once she realizes the camera is on her, it stops instantaneously. I didn't even bother trying to catch it on video... "What mommy? You say something?"

I know there will come a day that this little girl will grow up and scream at me how unfair I am. I will hear her calling to complain to her friends how mom "just doesn't get it" and my heart will probably break into a little black hole. I know that between now and then, there may come a time where she will be teased in school for one reason or another and again, my heart will break for her because I will not be able to fix everything, and as a mom, you feel like you should be able to. Every so often I will take myself there. The what-ifs of all the scaries in life. The stairs, the streets, the strangers, the mean kids in school, the milestones to reach, and I wish like hell that I can kiss away all her sadness, her hurts, her scares. I will be consumed with sadness to ever have to watch her struggle, to hurt, to learn to strive on her own, but I know that the day will come. Just that knowledge alone allows me to take in every bit of her now. My tired days, my frumpy days, the days I don't feel so well, somehow does not interfere where she is concerned. Stories like these also make you want to hold on to your baby just a little tighter wherever you go, whatever you're doing because you end up consumed with the worry that somehow you will lose her. I know for sure when this family set out for a day in the park, they did not in their worst nightmare, imagine that they would have to return home without their little baby.

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