Saturday, March 19, 2011

Setting The Bar

While she is admittedly a pretty happy baby, I watch her sleep some nights and can't help but wonder if I am doing something wrong or maybe not enough. Could I be failing her in some way that I am not fully aware of? I know she knows she's so absolutely loved, but "what if"? I feel waves of this sudden rising of guilt when I least expect it. Not often, but some nights, there is a nagging feeling somewhere in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach that I am not doing enough. That I am not enough... And it takes all I have to keep from scooping her up and cradling her just to watch the rise and fall of her breath and whisper that I am sorry and not quite know what for.

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  1. Aw, I'm sure you're a great mom, and I think Leah knows that :)

    By the way, how in the world does she sleep like that?? Looks like a weird yoga position.

  2. @Jennifer Haha, that's a maybe, and I'm sure you'll find people argue that point.

    I can watch her forever sleeping with her butt up in the air and arms tucked to the side and see how long it takes for her to move position. I used to curl up on the couch like that and it used to make my feet fall asleep.