Friday, December 31, 2010

Mommy's Year

To my little big girl,

You are growing so quickly into your own person. You're the perfect balance of sweet and cuddly, but rambunctious with just enough attitude. I laugh often because you really are such a girly girl. Thank you for being you, for making life so much sweeter, and for making life just difficult enough to keep it interesting. Thank you for all the lessons you continue to teach me. You are such a happy baby and it makes me feel as if I am doing something right which makes my heart smile. I watch you sleeping many nights and marvel over how much you've grown. Yet, you are still small enough to fit snuggly in the crook of my arm when you're tired and in need of a cuddle. You're an absolute delight when you run over for a hug in the middle of throwing your toys across the room just to make sure mommy is there watching you demolish furniture. I love, and am amazed, at how quickly you pick up on and learn things by pointing or signing and I am more aware of how careful I need to be around you because you are becoming quite the monkey. I would appreciate it if you didn't slap me across the face to wake me, but if you must every morning elbow me in my eyeball or drop your entire 20-pound self onto mommy's face for some attention, I will still love you because I understand how much fun it must be for a miniature human to watch mommy's face contort as she yelps in pain. I also thank you for being over your cold, because you seem to be yourself again - the happy baby that eats and plays and doesn't throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. For a while there you had me terrified because I thought you hit the terrible twos at one. Tomorrow, we will try taking pictures again, and it would be lovely if you would cooperate. It is, afterall, your 12th month. It's our last sticker. I promise I won't put anymore of those silly picky stickies on you again. I love you more than you will ever know. Happy Birthday, my little Squirmy.

Love, Mommy.
* * * * * * * * *
One year ago, my life changed. In one year - I've learned the greatest of lessons, have had thousands of unforgettable experiences, cried some, but laughed more. One year ago, I cried more in one night than I had in a very long time holding fast to my few hour old daughter as if she were my life line. It turns out, she is my life line. One year ago, I cried happy tears for the very first time in my life. Through countless mistakes, experiments and determination, through lapse in judgment to finding solutions, through squibbles and squabbles, we have grown as a family; as a team. It is hard for me to remember life pre-baby. It's hard for me to see myself anywhere else now that I am here. One year ago, she was no heavier than a small watermelon and no larger than a teddy bear. She cried some, slept a lot, ate a lot, and slept some more. A year later, today, she cries some, still sleeps quite a bit, eats a boatload, but laughs more, loves more, dances, plays, signs, incessantly rambles incoherent consonants, gives the world's greatest hugs and the sloppiest, most delicious kisses. One year ago, I became a mommy for the first time and today, a year later, I can't think of anything else I've ever done that I've been so proud of. It was a no-go for photos today. I just ended up with a bunch blurry photos depicting the back of her head in motion. Here's a before and after in the mean time:

From this ---

--- To this. How is it possible that it's already been a year!? -.-

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