"I Would Never..."

Yeah, go on. Give me your best shot. This came at me right after reading a link off someone else's blog which I can't remember now. Anywho, I must say that I love the preaching though because it'll be super sweet to hear how STUPID you feel once you realize all that you don't realize now. I love hearing it and I rarely correct those who preach on. There are a crap ton of things I didn't think I'd do with my kid. But preaching? Don't preach to a mama. If you have a kid that's not mobile or even better, if you don't have a kid period, don't tell me what you'd never do, but because ya know what? It's likely that it IS what you will be doing. There are tons of things I didn't think I'd do that I do now. There are also a ton of things I thought I'd do that I don't do.

Don't think you'll throw a cracker/cookie/squeezable food packet thing at your screaming toddler just to get your kid to shut up so you can hear yourself think for 45 seconds even though she hasn't had lunch yet? Don't think you'll throw them the phone/remote control/ipad/any damn electronic thing with a button that lights up because "OMG you're running out of things to play with. Oh wait, here, here's a spoon. Good. Go make some pretend food. That just bought mommy 3 extra minutes. I love you." Don't think you'll be eating things off the floor or off your kid because there's no tissue to be found? Good luck with it because my diet consists partly of regurgitated baby food and snacks. Sound gross? Make no mistake, it is. Slimy too. Your kid will eat whatever you make them eat? Spend an hour, slicing, dicing, steaming, cooking up a storm for your kid so that she can sit there eating Gerber Prunes and Baby Puffs instead of the chicken you just sliced and diced and steamed because she doesn't feel like chicken today. The same chicken she's been eating for months. At least prunes will make her system "go". You say you think you can control all her TV watching? Guess what, my kid doesn't watch TV at home, but you just can't make everyone turn off theirs every time you visit. What will you do when you walk into a Best Buy and they have 30 of them going at once? Call management? I'm not pro and I'm not anti-TV. It's just not something that occurred to me to do. Actually, maybe it's time. That buys me about 45 minutes a day! You'll never co-sleep? Shut up. When you haven't slept in 10 weeks and your kid is waking every 2 hours because you're her main food source, sometimes throwing the kid into bed with you for the extra 20 minutes of sleep will buy you your sanity. Literally. It's been 16 months and sometimes while putting her to bed, I'm passed out on the floor beside her before she's even asleep. Sometimes the things you thought you'd never do is only because you haven't done them yet. Oh and the pacifier thing? She needs it to sleep, dammit. Yeah it's bad. I get it. Sometime you just have to pick your battles. Don't judge me.









Girl needed something to do to keep busy while mommy showered!